


Until x Morning

by Anonymous



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, During Canon, First Time, Introspection, M/M, Making Out, Oral Sex, POV Killua Zoldyck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:34:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28646106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Then as a friend, I want to do something nice for you."It was unspoken between them, but they both knew it to be true: when Gon would get down from the World Tree tomorrow, Killua wouldn’t be there to greet him. But they had one last night between them.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Kudos: 15
Collections: Anonymous





	Until x Morning

Killua lay awake in his bed staring at the ceiling. It was unspoken between them, but they both knew it to be true: when Gon would get down from the World Tree tomorrow, Killua wouldn’t be there to greet him.

He clenched his teeth and rolled onto his side, turned away from where Gon and Alluka were sleeping soundly in their beds. Gon. Even the mere thought of his name was enough for Killua’s heart to ache with pain. 

Gon’s fight against Pitou. His nen vow. His hospitalization. Killua had almost lost him for good.

But why? Why had he been able to save him like that? Everyone treated Gon’s condition like the elephant in the room, they all knew the outcome but no one would talk to him about the vow. They didn’t want to bother him. Killua sighed. He was bothered. But he needed to know.

Kite was someone important to Gon. He didn’t quite understand at the time, what it was about that odd lanky man that made him so attached, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t need reasons. It scared him to think about it, but sometimes he wondered if Gon had gotten killed by Pitou during the invasion, would he be stuck in a similar situation? Would he have lost himself completely? Would there have been anyone to save him?

Killua threw his covers off. This was going to be another sleepless night, it had to be. Tomorrow was the last day he would see Gon before they parted from each other. He didn’t want to, but he felt like he had to. Everything was getting too tense. Maybe they just needed some time to think, away for themselves, but Killua wished he could just tell Gon that it was okay, that he wasn’t mad at him, and that he wanted to stay by his side. Forever. It was his choice, not obligation.

Because deep down Killua knew that Gon was only alive because of him. No one would talk about it, but he had his own thoughts on Gon’s nen vow, his own suspicions on why he survived after he crashed. But to think that he could have been the crux of it all was not only arrogant, but really painting their friendship higher than it should be. Or was it? Deep down he wanted to be as important to Gon as Gon was to him, so this was a bit of an escape into that. Killua chewed on his bottom lip. If Gon had nothing left to live for so he channeled all the rest of his life into killing Pitou, the moment they made eye contact in the forest that fateful night was enough to remind him that he still had other ties to the world. Killua was enough.

He was enough.

Killua felt a tear trickle down the side of his face, quickly wiping it off. Gon could never see him cry, he was so much stronger than that. He needed to be strong for Gon, strong for the both of them. But that just made the tears come faster.

Stupid tears, stupid emotions, this was for when they were apart, not right now. But he couldn’t completely hide it. 

“Killua.”

Gon’s whisper snapped him out of it, the words reminding him that he wasn’t alone in this. That’s right. Gon was there. Gon could be there for him. 

“I can’t sleep,” says Killua, sitting upright on his bed. “I keep thinking, and my mind is racing, and, and-“

“Killua, it’s okay to be upset,” said Gon, brushing a white tuft of hair out of his face. He climbed onto the bed and sat down next to Killua, before lying down next to him. “We still have a few more hours before… morning.”

Killua smiled at his awkward comment before lying down next to him. Gon was right. He didn’t need to say it, but they wouldn’t be apart forever. And right now, they were so close that for a second Killua forgot why his heart was racing as fast as it was. Gon was so close he could count the freckles on his nose in the pale moonlight. He brought his hand out unknowingly and touched one of them, dragging his hand across his cheek. Cute. 

“Aunt Mito says I get them because I don’t use sunscreen,” said Gon, softening his gaze. “But I think they’re alright.”

“I think they’re cool,” Killua said fondly. He had so many thoughts about Gon, but the act of verbalizing them was too embarrassing to even consider doing. They’re cute, and really compliment his eyes. Gon’s freckles were so ostentatiously his, like many of his other features that Killua so adored. This was Gon, this was made him,  _ him. _ And he loved every bit of him. 

“You’re one of the only people who find me cool,” said Gon, cupping the side of Killua’s face tenderly. “I always thought you were way cooler than me, anyways.”

He didn’t know what possessed him to do it. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, or Gon’s statement feeling like that of a confession, but he leans in and presses a hesitant kiss against Gon’s mouth before Gon kisses him back, and suddenly they’re kissing, over and over again as the sheets get all messed up. Gon pulls out of the kisses to look Killua right in the eyes. 

“Killua, you deserve so much,” said Gon, pressing a kiss onto his lips before kissing him again on the neck, hands making their way to his sides as he pressed his whole body against Killua. Shit, they were so close. Killua felt the blood rush to his pants as Gon rubbed up against his blooming erection. “I want to make you feel good.”

“Gon, I-“

He  _ what. _ Killua couldn’t even finish the thought, not when he was thinking away from his head. Why was he overthinking anything anyways, Gon was here, in his bed. Killua allowed himself to relax, pulling Gon in tighter as he started his own exploration of Gon’s body, wanting to feel all of it, every last inch of skin. His hands slip under Gon’s shirt, feeling Gon’s chest and back as Gon leans in to kiss him, an electrifying feeling pulsating through his body. He deepens the kiss, pulling closer into Gon until he pulls out, their foreheads touching together.

There’s a lot to be said right now about what just happened but it was all unspoken. They could talk about it later; they had so little time left together now. 

“Don’t think you need to repay me,” Killua choked out. Gon shouldn’t be doing anything he didn’t want to just to get back at Killua for healing him. It left a sour taste in Killua’s mouth to think about that. “That’s just what friends do.”

And he would do it again in a heartbeat. Killua felt his heart ache. Would Gon ever need him again? Could he?

“Then as a friend, I want to do something nice for you,” said Gon, grabbing at the waistband of Killua’s pajama. He slipped two warm fingers in, grazing against his lower abdomen. Killua shivered. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” said Gon, pressing a quick kiss against Killua’s lips before pulling the rest of his pants down, freeing his erection from the confines. 

There was a mutual moment where they realize the sleeping Alluka could easily turn over and see them, which led to Killua slipping off the edge of the bed, back leaned against the side as Gon lies stomach down on the ground between his legs, pressing soft loving kisses onto the side of his shaft, exploring it with his mouth. 

Killua moaned softly. Gon was so good to him, so sweet to him, so passionate for him. Gon was doing this for him, and it felt so good. He starts breathing heavier, clutching the side of the sheets so he doesn’t give too much sound off. 

But in actuality, he didn’t care. His sister was sound asleep a few beds over but right now all that mattered to him was Gon. Gon’s lips wrapped around his dick, his fingers running through Gon’s hair, Gon’s tongue working circles. Just, Gon.

“Gon,” moaned Killua. “Gon, Gon…. G-“

Killua’s vision blurs as he looks at Gon, the boy who shone so brightly that it saved him from darkness. Gon was his only connection to a normal life. Gon showed him how to live. Gon gave him the friendship he didn’t deserve, and was there for him through thick and thin. And he had been there too. Killua felt the tears welling up in his eyes. 

He rested his fingers in his hair as Gon carefully took his dick out of his mouth, a trail of spittle and cum glistening in the moonlight. Killua feels exhausted, as if the heavy weight that Gon was supposed to lift off his shoulders just doubled over and sunk.

Gon did this because he wanted to. It wasn’t payment. Gon wanted him. Him. No one else.

Killua played this over in his mind as the truth, as much as he could, until it freed him from his mental blockade of doubts and assumptions. Gon was safe. Yes, he was safe, here, with Gon. 

“Now we have to see each other again,” joked Gon, wiping his mouth with his wrist. Killua grabbed him by his soft cheeks, pulling him in closer to a kiss. They were wet, and sloppy, and started missing the mouth the more they went on, hands grabbing at any exposed skin they could find. He kissed Gon so much he found it hard to breathe and his head started to spin and it felt like the whole world was crashing down on them right then.

But it wasn’t.

They were there, together, in the hotel room, in the wee hours of the morning before they had to depart. They existed, and so did the memories.

“Do you think we…”

Do you think we could just stay together? Run off, with Alluka? Disappear from the grid for a while? Let our relationship blossom, and see where that gets us?

Killua couldn’t speak those words, though he knows them as his own truth.

And it was his own fault, maybe if he had just been a bit bolder, a bit more risky, he could have kept Gon with him. But Gon knew he’d never ask. And Killua knew Gon couldn’t either, he was in no position to, not after what happened. They were doing what was expected of them.

Killua eventually ended up falling asleep, holding on tightly to Gon, as he never wanted to let him go. Arms and legs intertwined, head pressed up on the crook of Gon’s neck, they were inseparable. They always had been. But that would only last until the morning. Until they weren’t.


End file.
